My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity. Proverbs 3:1-2
Many parents struggle to change the bad habits, mannerisms, or attitudes of their children, to the point of punishing them, even mistreating them, in order to do so. However, although it is good to train your children (without mistreating them) to have good attitudes and habits, this doesn’t guarantee that a son or daughter will be successful in life, as these are what we could call second order behaviors. In reality, the first order would be to transform their hearts.
Transforming their heart is not only teaching their mind, but the depths of their being, in order to help them form their deepest beliefs, the ones that will direct and inspire their way of life. This implies a transformation of the mind, attitudes, and emotions.
The mind is where all actions in life are stored, processed, and inspired. It is also where beliefs are created and remain, and later generate attitudes, which are ways of reacting towards life, other people, and towards God. These together drive our actions, good or bad. There, attitudes are created which guide us to success or failure, to happiness or sadness, to good or bad.
This is why we must develop in our children a mind ready to be receptive to learning, analyzing and processing information properly, so that they can discern good from bad; especially nowadays, when children are being “bombarded” by all kinds of ideas, including self-destructive ones.
In order to be able to transform the hearts of our children, we must first love them intentionally. Many parents love their children, but are more interested in their own world and children take second place.
We must love them with the desire of making them happy. This will give them security, confidence, peace, and joy. It will allow them to know they are valuable and they will develop healthy beliefs, with good thoughts and feelings about themselves.
Second, we must speak to their hearts, not just their minds. Let’s speak to them about what we feel toward God, what he does and has done in us, how much we love him, how we need him in difficult times, and how he helps us.
Third, let’s teach them that God is real, that he walks with us, he hears us, and is tuned in to our needs. May they learn to know God from childhood. Let’s teach them to have faith in and certainty that God is real, and let us teach them that Jesus came to reconcile us to God so we might be his children.
This is transforming the hearts of children, and this will help them as adults to not stray from the Lord and to have a life full of faith in Jesus.
Dear father and mother, it is time to seek to transform your children’s hearts instead of scolding them to behave well. A transformed heart will seek God, learn to love him, obey him, and do its best for him.
May God help you in all of your endeavors today.
Doctor Miguel and Irene Garita
Family Care Ministry
Church of the Nazarene
Mesoamerica Region
