“The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him. May your father and mother rejoice; may she who gave you birth be joyful!” Proverbs 23:24-25
In the first four parts of this series of articles, we shared with you that the behaviour a child displays is formed in the home, though you would say , “I did my best to raise them.”
Generally, as parents we make mistakes which lead to negative attitudes and bad behaviour in children.
Some of these mistakes include:
- Giving children the same authority as parents.
This way of raising children is common among single parents, whether they are separated, divorced, widowed or it is a case where the other parent is not very present. They give their children the authority to decide what they want to do even though they are still very young. While one could think this approach is good, when children see their parents as equals, generally, the parents’ position of authority is lost.
As children grow up, it becomes more difficult over time to train and guide them, as they believe that they can make their own decisions without considering their parents’ wishes.
Parents, your children need to always see you as their authority figure.
If children see parents as equals, they will not understand that they are under authority and will follow their own instincts, thus making self control difficult. Here, we must mention a second mistake:
- Not setting boundaries for your children.
This is a serious error, as in all areas of life we must face situations where there are limits, otherwise we find ourselves in various types of conflict – social, economic, spiritual, etc.
Boundaries are healthy in a society that does not know up to what point personal freedom should exist. There is a connection between boundaries and being successful in life since they help us to be disciplined in study, work and in the use of money.
There are boundaries in every area of life but when we no longer hold to them, we end up with problems in our lives in general and it becomes difficult to live with others.
When a child knows what his limits are, he feels more at ease, develops self control, and forms a discipline for life in general. By not having boundaries, many people encounter major problems when they reach adulthood – they become addicted to drugs and alcohol, forget their responsibilities, and develop many other self destructive behaviours. Most of all, they become discouraged about being able to live a successful life.
Fathers and mothers, establish boundaries for your children so that they can develop successfully in life.
May God help you in all that you do today.
Doctor Miguel and Irene Garita
Family Care Ministry
Church of the Nazarene, Mesoamerica Region
